Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia is tough, it can definitely put a strain on that mother daughter relationship because sometimes it feels more like a relationship between you and your mom’s fibromyalgia than a relationship between you and your mom. I have learned that there are good days and there are bad days.
Days she needs more support, more help, more positive words, more love, etc., and there are days where she needs her space because she is feeling a little extra crappy, a little extra emotional, and a little extra frustrated. I don’t know about anyone else, but I was blessed with a pretty amazing mom! One who is a great role model, one who shows great amounts of strength and also perseverance. I have learned a lot of things from my mom, but I want her to know that even though having fibromyalgia may be horrible, and may make life feel unbearable at times, mom, I hope you know that I love you to the moon and back and always will, no matter what.
Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia has made me realize and accept the fact that there are gonna be days when mom is going to need me to run to town to get groceries because driving to town, walking around the store, and carrying heavy bags can make her really tired and really hurt.
There are going to be days where she needs an extra hug. There are going to be things that she misses, like choir concerts or sporting events because getting up, getting ready, and then sitting in some uncomfortable auditorium chair for 2 hours is going to make her hurt so much more tomorrow.
But I have learned that it is ok if she misses a few of those things, because I know she is always thinking about me when I’m doing them, and she’s always excited to hear about them when I get home.
Being the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia can be tough, because some days you feel so helpless, which is one of the worst things! Watching your mom suffer and struggle is hard, and knowing that she wants to do more than her body physically allows her to is so hard to see.
Mom, I just hope you know that I’m here for the good days and also the bad. I am always here as a solid foundation for you. A shoulder to cry on, on the not so good days, a person to laugh uncontrollably with on extra good days, a person to rant to on the extra frustrating days, and I’m also here to try and put a smile on your face every single day. Because even though I am the daughter of a mom with fibromyalgia, I am also the daughter of a damn good mom!
“I love you to the moon and back!”
Love, your “punkin”
by Haley Puddicombe
A Letter of Thanks from A Mother With Fibromyalgia to her Daughters
Life has certainly been hard since this condition reared its ugly head. My life has been turned upside down and things will just never be the same. But this does not just apply to me, this applies to you as well. I’m realizing and trying to comprehend that my life as I knew it will never be the same. But I’m also learning that life as you know it has also changed. I don’t know when things started to change but as I look back at you girls being little, I remember lots of fun times, lots of laughter, and lots of adventures.
As you got older, we still managed to have amazing fun and lots of laughs. But in the last few years, things have changed. I used to never say no to whatever we had in store for the day. Shopping, family trips, camping, anything we may have wanted to do as a family. My life started slowing down, my physical well-being was no where near what it once was. I now have learned that I have this condition called fibromyalgia.
Things will just not be the same. You girls have watched me change and slow down. I’m no longer able to do the things I once did and I won’t be able to do things with you that we once used to do. Not many families understand what fibromyalgia is or how it affects a family. But from day one, since learning that things were not ok with me, you’ve stepped up, you learned that things were going to be different, you never questioned it, you just went along with it. You never questioned this new reality I’m dealing with, you’re dealing with.
You girls have learned that things I once used to do, I can no longer do. You’ve learned that some days I push myself further than I should. And the biggest thing, you’ve learned that in no longer the mom you used to have. This is a big thing to understand for a 17 year old and a 13 year old, yet neither one of you questioned what was happening, why it was happening, or how it would affect you. You girls now had to adjust to a new normal, just as I had to, and yet you never missed a beat.
You have learned to know when I need some extra help, when I need you to do errands for me, or when I just need some time alone. You’ve learned to read my face and know when things aren’t just right and you seem to know things that might help me. Since I’ve been dealing with this condition you have also learned that sometimes my moods have been unpredictable, happy one minute, mad the next, and in tears shortly after. You’ve had to learn the hard way that any mood is unpredictable.
But yet you roll with it and don’t question it. I used to be able to attend any and all school and extracurricular activities, but now, if it’s a bad day, you understand that me coming to activities may cause more pain and make the next day more uncomfortable and you are more than understanding. You girls always seem to know when mom needs a little extra love and a little extra caring.
The hugs & kisses, the “favors”, the errands, the chores, and any of the day to day things that I need help with, you know when it’s needed. Since this new reality has become our lives, you’ve never given up hope on me or for me. This is something no kid your ages should have to deal with but you manage it it with grace and strength. You’ve never belittled who I am now or made me feel like less of a mom.
The small gestures like hugs & kisses, flowers, help around the house, or sending me to the couch when you know I’ve done to much, it means more than you will ever know. I’m a pretty lucky mom in so many ways. But most of all, I’m the proud mom of two pretty amazing girls whom I love to the moon and back. My “punkin” and my “boo”…I love you more than you will ever know!
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another letter mom and Son
My Mom Has Fibromyalgia – Reading This Made Me Cry
Sometimes there are few people in our life that take the life away with their compassion, sweetness, love,emotions and support. My Mom has fibromyalgia, Actually, No my mom does not have fibro, but this is article is not about her. It is the story of cute and lovely hearted boy Dylan who saw her mom struggling from pain.
This is the story of Tiffany Case’s 10 year old son. Her son got school assignment about writing a paper about someone he knew that has to deal with daily struggles and pain. First of all it was a awesome school assignment that will help children to understand life and that we face a lot of struggles in life, life is full of ups and down and somehow we have to face them that the key fact.
Dylan is an amazing cute lovely boy who chooses to write paper on his mom, who suffers from an invisible illness “Fibromyalgia”. Tiffany says that it was the first time she faces someone who is interested in knowing her illness. She said “People don’t like to talk about things that make them uncomfortable.” but as you all know children don’t know the filters of what to ask of what to not, and that make them really beautiful because there purity of soul and innocence wins our heart.
For Tiffany this was not an easy conversation( you will second me conversation with the child are not the easy one). And why because she has thoughts that what do I tell my baby who I have disappointed a lot of times because of being sick or being in pain. Its hard for me to choose the right words to try make some sense to my 10 year old boy so he understand my points that mostly adults don’t do. 🙁
I began telling my story of last 13 year of miseries and pain. I have to hide me tears from him. It toke nearly an hour to explain him the bitter reality of this invisible illness. He listen to me, ask question and tells me many time with his cute voice “you are the best Mama in the world”
do you like the letter ? Do you see who children ofter understand way much much better that we often assumes. I know many of you struggles with parenting along dealing with fibromyaliga and I hope this letter boast your motivations and make you feel that your children always love you no matter what happens and they understand far far more than our imagination. Thanks you Tiffany for sharing your boy letter and your story.
Here is the photo of Dylan’s letter.
Here is the readable version of the above letter:
My struggles paper is going to be about my mom and how she deals with her Fibromyalgia, my mom calls it Fibro. My mom had is since she was 20 and [is] now 33. “People think you are lazy and crazy. It takes a toll on my family and it causes pain in every part of my body to where it is so bad my hair and toenails hurt.”
The worst thing about Fibro is there is no cure for it. People with Fibro will live with it to the day they die. It took my mom’s dreams away from her and took her job she loved so much as a nurse. 9 out of 10 times my mom is not feeling good. Other than pain, the other two things are the complete lack of energy and the misunderstanding of others. My mom does not get to spend time with her family and that really makes her sad. If she gets sick, it takes a while for her to get better. But, at the end of the day, I will always love my mom, and she has made it 13 years with Fibro.
I wear purple for Her: Show support to your loved ones who are suffering from fibromyalgia. Go out with them on walk and wear this shirt to let them know how much you loved them.
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